The 2007 Asador Vacation: Part II

continued from Part I

Buenos Aires

Bought a book for the plane and ate Tuñin pizza.

Airport

Every time I’m at Ezeiza, the main international airport in Argentina, I hear at least one disgruntled passenger from the U.S., mouthing off for some idiotic reason like problems at an airport in Argentina don’t happen back home.

Last year it was some guy mumbling a little too loudly that he was “so f*cking sick of this backward ass country” because he had to stand in line to pay for something. Good, don’t come back!

This year it was a lady who had to toss her recently purchased water bottle at a security check before stepping onto the plane. To her husband or boyfriend, “I’m so sick of this place.” Yep, Argentina is to blame for liquid inspections. No other country does it. Maybe this behavior is quite common.

LAN

My current favorite airline is LAN. They’re not perfect but I’ve never had any problems except for a few delays that were less than an hour. Their crews are friendly and the steerage-class food is quite good for airline fare. You actually get a real glass to sip wine out of!

Thankfully, they now offer direct flights to Miami instead of always having to make a stopover in Santiago, Chile. We could have taken a shorter flight in the faster 777 that American uses for their direct flight but like Aerolineas, I’ve had it with them too. Maybe it’s the double A’s, I don’t know. Flying with them is just a totally undesirable experience. Their crews, rules & regulations, or wtf their problem is just pisses me off. Grumpy old crew members, who look like they need to retire, treat everyone like a 4 year old in daycare.

Now, as with cruise ships, I feel it is my duty to rant about American Airlines.

Beverages

I have flown round trip flights to and from the U.S. on LAN, TAM, and Aerolineas Argentinas. Each time, all of them offered free wine, beer, and liquor. Even a wonderful night cap cart passes by before lights out. American, on the other hand, says screw you with a $5 dollar charge for every drink.

Please Sit Down

On my most recent trip with LAN, if anyone loitered in the aisle for too long when the fasten seatbelt sign was turned off, a crew member would take action by kindly speaking on the PA system. Indirect, yet pleasant, they asked passengers to remain seated with their seat belts fastened for safety. They repeated this about every 30 seconds until those milling about for no reason sat down.

That method is way too nice for Old Miss Crabtree on American. No, she likes to walk right up into someone’s face and say, “Sir/Ma’am, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!” No please. No kind voice. Why should they? We’re all four year old brats.

Seat belts

LAN’s crew knew that I was an adult and responsible for myself. Pilots can usually pick up turbulent areas miles away on radar. Unless the plane suffers a serious malfunction or collision warning during the period when the fasten seat belt sign is off, then I’ll probably be safe with or without my seatbelt on. If you were in an empty row, you could lay across the seats, as many people did, without hearing a word.

On American, I am a 4 year old in the back seat of grandma’s car. Are you wearing your seat belt back there?! Are you wearing your seat belt?! While I was dreaming away and counting how many corderos would end up on the grill this summer, I awoke 3 or 4 times to some batsh*t insane madwoman with a flashlight running down the aisle to see if we were all wearing our seat belts under our blankets. No turbulence warning. No lit fasten your seatbelt sign. Just madness

Go to Part III

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